The memorandum of a modern day feminist

The feminist movement has done so much for women and at the core of ‘The Memorandum of a Modern Day Feminist’ is gratitude. Gratitude for the freedom that the movement has afforded women. The undeniable freedom to be whatever you choose to be. And second to that gratitude is the acknowledgement that an Evolved Feminist is a product of the movement. It is the ability to develop yourself and to be in a position to choose and pick, to determine what gives you deep and meaningful happiness that allows room for an Evolved Feminist to emerge. To be an Evolved Feminist, you must have invested in your own development and the empowerment of other women long enough to be able to say, this is what I take and this is what I don’t.

This is her commitment:

1. Gratitude: An Evolved Feminist is grateful to the feminist movement for making it possible for women to explore all that which is ‘womanly’ possible. With that exploration has come the ability for an Evolved Feminist to make informed choices. With those choices, an Evolved Feminist might conform or not conform to all feminist tenets. If your society still discriminates largely on gender lines and prevents you from reaching your full potential as a woman, if it refuses you the right to be what you want to be, then you must stay on the perfect feminist course a little longer.

2. Equality is a Human Rights Issue: The legal and political equality of the sexes in all public spheres of society must never again be up for debate: Not only is it just for women to be able to determine what they want to be, but it is a fundamental human right. A woman’s right to self-determination and the obligation upon society to protect and preserve that right is an achievement that must be protected and celebrated.

3. Self Determination is an Individual Prerogative: An Evolved Feminist can make informed choices towards her desired happiness and harmony in her world. She is an achiever in her own right. She can be whatever she wants to be. She can choose to be an accomplished executive, a stay-at-home mom, a kept woman, to pursue formal employment or not. She focuses on what gives her tangible happiness and what helps her contribute to sowing harmony in society. She understands that the only superior choice in life is one which makes her tangibly and meaningfully happy. Our accomplishments give us fulfilment. Her agency is in her happiness. Collectivism in the pursuit of happiness is a fallacy.

4. Unconditional Support to Women: She understands that a woman’s life is complex and is supportive of women in the plethora of choices they make to build happiness for themselves and harmony in society. From a stay-at-home mom to a high-end executive, to a woman who does it all, she supports women fully in the choices they make to be the happiest they can be.  No contribution is superior to the other, she values women in the diversity of contributions that they make to build a happy society. She understands that an empowered woman knows what makes her truly happy and pursues it, whether that choice is confined to traditional gender roles or outside of them.

5. She is Clever in Separating the Public and the Private:

An Evolved Feminist understands that her fights in public ain’t identical to those in private. She continues to demand legislation that protects women’s rights in public and manoeuvres the private in whatever way she sees fit and necessary in advancing her happiness and in building harmony in her family, community and society. She desires to build a community of men who know what it is to be a protector, a provider, and a reliable partner. When her achievements become a source of discord and tension in private, she steps back and finds ways to foster happiness and harmony. Separating the public and private isn’t hypocrisy, it is wisdom. She does not mix up the boardroom with the bedroom. Common sense is not cowardice.

6. Life-giver, Nurturer: An Evolved Feminist sees herself primarily as a life-giver and a nurturer. She does not have to be a biological mom, but she values the contribution of women as life-givers and nurturers. She sees herself primarily as a caregiver too. She demands a movement which protects women who have chosen to uphold traditional gender roles as fiercely as the feminist movement protects women who take up conventional gender roles.

7. She is an Aspiring Matriarch: She is the cord that holds her family and her community together. She is the cord that holds society together. She is devoted to finding ways to sow happiness in her family, in her community and in society. She is driven by wisdom and seeks solutions to societal challenges in a fair and balanced manner.

8. She Sees a Man as an Ally in Building a Harmonious Society: She sees a man as a son, a father, a brother, a husband and an indispensable partner in building a happy and harmonious society. She is selfless in her approach in dealing with the men in her life. She believes that when she lifts up the men in her life, she lifts up herself, when she runs them down, she runs down herself.  She runs down her family and her community. She runs down society.

9. She is a Trustworthy Support Structure for Men:  She understands that the success of a man is inextricably linked to the love, support, perseverance and sacrifice of a woman. She is the mom who goes the extra mile to raise a good son, the sister who refuses to give up on her brother, and the wife who bears the burden of her husband with love and selflessness. She is the daughter who sees the good in her dad when no one else does.

10. Culture and Religion Define Society: She understands that both women and men are not born in a vacuum. She upholds cultural values that protect women and men and stands up fiercely against those that hurt women and men. She is not rebellious against her culture or her religion, she embraces cultural and religious values that are unharmful, that seek to sow harmony and oppose those that create harm and hurt in society.

11. She gives Patriarchy the Benefit of the Doubt:  She believes that not all forms of patriarchy seek to enslave women. In fact, some elements of patriarchy seek to protect women. She sees chivalry as a necessary spice in the relationship between men and women. She encourages men to take up the role of protectors, providers, and  defenders of family and protectors of society, as a necessary step in dealing with the social scourges in society.

12. She Understands that Relationships are a Matter of Give and Take: She is not a victim of sexism or sexist exploitation, but she is selfless and fully devoted to giving of herself to build a harmonious world and one in which the sexes coexist with respect, love and harmony. Good manners and self-respect command respect. She seeks to understand men’s needs as a function of building a happy society and for enhancing her own happiness. Selflessness is not a weakness and must never be.

13. Women are key in Fostering Humanity: She is devoted to women’s empowerment, but her obsession for harmony in society overwhelms her. She knows that no one ever walked the surface of the earth without a woman consenting with her body. She takes the responsibility borne from that consent seriously in her approach to fostering harmony in society. She sees her purpose as central to advancing harmony in humanity as a life-giver, a caregiver and a nurturer.

14. The Uniqueness of her Womanhood: She believes that every creature in the universe is unique. A cat never seeks to bark and does not think a dog is superior because it does. She knows her power and is uncompromising in using it. In her world, men and women are equal but they are different. Our reproductive roles are not optional, we can choose to uphold them or deny them but we cannot change who we are. Our reproductive roles define us.

15. She Demands that this Wave of Feminism Focuses on encouraging Women to Pursue Happiness in any way that is True for them and to Uphold their Responsibility to Sow Harmony in Society: Feminism has come full circle and we must invite women to come with their culture, with their religion, with their jobs, with their men, with all that defines them and to live a life of tangible happiness and harmony. This wave of feminism is about harmony, love, and togetherness. It is about building a happy you and a harmonious world for all. It is a wave devoted to building a harmonious society for women and men to be the best they can be.

It is a movement of women for happiness and harmony who are committed to building a harmonious society with love, perseverance and selflessness.

If you are that woman, then arise, EVOLVED FEMINIST.  Tell us the choices you are making to be a uniquely happy you and to build a happy and harmonious society. This is my pledge, ‘The Pledge of an Evolved Feminist’.

What elements of the Memorandum resonant with you? Share your story and your pledge as an Evolved Feminist seeking above all else to sow happiness and harmony in society.

Join other women making informed choices to sow happiness and harmony in their families, communities and society.