Lebo was my first black South African friend. She was bold, confident, fearless and intelligent. Our friendship was brief, it only lasted through our post graduate honours year, but it was intense, it was unique, it was an eye opener.
Lebo was born in South Africa, along with its history and racially tense past. Unlike Lebo, I was born in Cameroon, what I described in my previous write up – ‘Who Gives a Rat’s Ass About Racism’ – as my perfect black world. Everything I knew, everything I had become was shaped by a black person. I had the confidence of a lion, and unlike Lebo’s confidence, mine wasn’t fueled by resentment for a system. It was fueled by a clear and unquestionable high esteem for my own.
Lebo saw racism in every spoken and unspoken word, in every action and inaction. But Lebo wasn’t racist. Lebo knew the apartheid era had created a system that would forever sought to undermine her type, that meant she had to work twice as hard to get recognised. She firmly believed her life and existence will forever be in the shadows of the system it created. Lebo groomed me to be racially aware. To see beyond the spoken word, to observe the system. to question and to challenge.
But unlike Lebo, I struggled to perceive racism, racism wasn’t obvious to me even when it was staring me in the face.
Then came the day, Lebo could actually make her point with what she called hard evidence. I had just received a 79% mark in a mini research thesis. Lebo laughed and said “you only got 79 because you are too black to get an A”. I refused Lebo’s conspiracy. I honestly thought there would be just as many white kids with 79s and several black kids with 80s, “I had an 80 before remember?” Lebo was getting none of that. “That was different, it was a test, there were marks assigned to every question and your cumulative marks added up to 83. But how do you read a research paper and decide to give someone a 79?”. Lebo was outright convinced my paper deserved an 80 or more and my score was a reminder of my blackness, the curse of my name. Lebo was all for challenging that result but I convinced her to laugh and brush it off.
Lebo was absolutely intolerant of the system, her anger and resentment generally overshadowed her judgement but Lebo wasn’t a racist. I recall the day a mutual male friend told us the story of a white girl who had been raped by street kids. He delivered a painful story in a rather light hearted manner. Lebo’s humanity triumphed over the resentment, the anger that usually englobed her. Lebo was outraged with the messenger and even more so with the crime. She believed the culprits needed to face the full wrath of the law. Lebo was clear their punishment needed to send strong warning waves across the country.
Lebo’s sense of humanity and justice was far too superior to the resentment and bitterness she harboured towards the system in which she was raised, in which she lived, a system which was all she knew.
After years of living in South Africa, I must admit that ‘the girl from a perfect black world attitude’ has enabled me to fight racism brilliantly on many occasions, it has enabled me to sail through South Africa’s sharky racial waters. It has enabled me to make my mark in the boardroom. Because I never felt anyone had the guts to undermine me on the basis of race, and the energy demanded compliance.
But I I also now understand that race is not just about how we individually try to navigate the day to day challenges that come our way, it is about justice and humanity and each time these two are put in question we must stand up as one people, in spite of what our superiority, resentments or prejudices might be. We must collectively fight the injustices that are transported with a racial wagon.
Like feminism, race relations can be complicated, drawing the line between the personal and the systemic is by far the biggest challenge. So while I still use my ‘girl from a perfect black world attitude to fight the personal, the systemic requires a lot more tact, it requires legislative change, mindset shift, it requires dismantling a system that has been built on centuries of injustice.
Lebo wasn’t racist, she did not think she was superior to anyone, but she was confident enough. She did not hate anyone, she disliked the injustices and barbarism that was always meted against her own. Lebo would not treat another wrongfully because of their race, she believed everyone needed a fair chance and to be measured by the quality of their contribution. Lebo simply wasn’t racist, she hated a racist system.
12 replies on “Lebo wasn’t racist”
Another great write.
“But how do you read a research paper and decide to give someone a 79?” that’s a valid question given that research papers are subjective.
I must say I am yet to met a black racist. Lebo is me and many other black sisters
Wooow Mbong… I totally relate to your “confidence of the lion fueled by a clear and unquestionable high esteem for your own”. This is an undeniable quality you get when you grow up in a “perfect Black world” like Cameroon, where indeed, as you said, “everything you are is shaped by a Black person”… So true!
Of course, this quality will take you to high places when you hold on to it no matter how hard you face the adversities. It becomes your ultimate weapon of attack and/or defence depending on the circumstance you find yourself in. It doesn’t mind a corps-à-corps against the racism we face in our daily lives in South Africa.
I think that your story about Lebo is a beautiful example that speaks about a person who has understood that social scourge and found the perfect way to live with it without being a racist herself. It is high time racism be considered X 10 like a serious crime against humanity. In South Africa and everywhere in the world, laws against it have to become more stringent than ever before.
Mbong I always look forward to your write ups. You should write a novel girl. You write amazingly well. I want to agree with you totally that it is injustice and a system we are fighting not individual attitudes. However, these attitudes we get from individuals has been fed by a system hence we need to fight both. Sometimes racists don’t even know they are being racist because the system has been teaching them over time that such attitude is normal
Great write up Mbong! I’d say the contrast in viewing and dealing with racism between you and Lebo just goes to reinforce the saying “He who wears the shoe, knows where it pinches.” I am a Cameroonian living in the USA for more than a decade. I see racism, smell it, feel it, detest it but nothing compared to my African American brothers and sister’s perceptions and realities, owing to the fact that this is supposed to be home for them. Their ancestors lived it, their parents lived it and now the children are living it…this is all they know and it hurts. Racism like other forms of discrimination is very bad. Generally, it’s gotten a tat bit better with personal race relations, but systemic racism to me, still has a long way to go.
This is the position of anyone who grew up in a fully black society with minimal interactions with our Caucasian counterparts. Lebo’s humanity is quite appealing.
Excellent write up. I feel Lebo 100%. Discrimination (racial, gender, religion etc) is very destructive to the affected individuals. Persistent exposure to discrimination can lead individuals to internalize the prejudice or stigma that is directed against them, manifesting in shame, low self-esteem, fear and stress. The fight against systemic racism is very imperative.
Awesome write up. Having grown up in a perfect black world, I found it weird when my colleagues in SA were referring to others by their “color “. This white,black, color, indian… I was struggling to understand why colleagues will not call others by their name and will always refer to their color. Indeed, It was a rooted attitude imposed by a system where many will consciously or unconsciously refer to others by their races. Unlike Lebo, I strongly believe that justice and humanity should prevail to any racist resentment, as you rightly stated:
“Lebo’s sense of humanity and justice was far too superior to the resentment and bitterness she harboured towards the system in which she was raised, in which she lived, a system which was all she knew.“ #IamLebo.
Terrific article!
Kebo’s position is one of admiration, one most of those who fight for equality and justice, will uphold.
Keep up with this great work.
God bless
Lebo wasn’t a racist truely and I think that her racial and apartheid background really helped and shaped her became more emphatic with a sense of reasoning. Imagine what her anger and resentment would have meant had she not expressed her act of humanity to the raped white girl story. Notwithstanding her plight she still believed that the lady deserved justice.
The world would be a better place if all race show equality and empathy towards each other, it might not be 100% because even in our various tribes and families we still discriminate but with efforts and understanding we can meet each other half way.
Great write up! The world will be a better place with many more Lebos. It starts from the mind! We all need that shift in mindset.
No one is born a racist. We are products of our environment. We are taught to hate. Unless we walk in the shoes of others, It is hard to believe/understand the stories/experiences of others when it comes to them being treated differently because of the color of their skin. As time goes on we must all stand up and fight against the systemic injustice just like Lebo in your story irrespective of whether it affects or not. I enjoy reading the post. Keep it coming
Looking forward to your first book release, this is a beautiful piece. I love reading your writings ✍️, there so much truth, sincerity and passion in them. Keep them coming and Lebo wasn’t racist, she hated the system.